


The Same Fearing Frame

by KillTheDirector



Series: Blood [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Animal Death, F/M, Force Bond, Incest, Manipulative Behavior, mutual force masturbation, thats probably not how the Force bond works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-23 10:12:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6113289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillTheDirector/pseuds/KillTheDirector
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is the scavenger rat from Jakku who has his mother's mouth and the same slant to her eyes as his uncle does. She hisses his inner most fears, causing his insecurities to pop over his skin like fireworks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Same Eyes as Me

He can feel her at the edges of his mind at a near constant basis. The girl's presence is like a small flame: not hot enough to destroy, but hot enough to _burn_.

Supreme Leader Snoke has not noticed his minor distress, and has decided that it's time for him to complete his training, to become a _true_ Sith master. 

Kylo Ren isn't sure how to feel about this; probably he should feel grateful, that or terrified. Instead, he feels nothing and allows his mind to connect to the scavenger girl's.

A soft sigh tumbles unbidden from his mouth when the edges of his consciousness slides like liquid against hers. Either she hasn't noticed his increasing prodding, or she doesn't know how to keep him out. The buzz of laughter that rings inside his head is pleasant, and there is the phantom feeling of a warm breeze caressing the sides of his face. 

He doesn't feel a pang of longing, though in the corner of his own consciousness he admits that it would be nice to be able to breathe in actual air rather than recycled oxygen.

Opening his eyes a crack (he hadn't even realized that he has closed them), Kylo Ren stares up at the darkened ceiling of his room. A small frown tilts down the corners of his mouth; he allows some of his irritation to scrape against the girl's mind, smirking briefly when the connection jumps.

()()

Thoughts of the scavenger girl grow more frequent the more he connects them. He's able to grab brief images from her mind, allowing him to see the universe through her eyes (even if it's only for a fraction of a second). He catches brief flickers of his mother (which causes an uncomfortably cold feeling to drop in his gut), the traitorous storm trooper, and others.

These people (or, in a few cases, droids) flood his mind with a borrowed sense of belonging that leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. These are not his feelings, they are the girl's.

Kylo Ren leaves the connection untouched for a few days. His hands have begun to tremble from the training Supreme Leader Snoke is putting him through, and most nights he tumbles into bed already asleep.

He is on the edge of wake and sleep when he feels the girl cautiously test their...connection.

Her invasion is slow, the fringes of her mind like cool fingers tentatively probing his brain. His eyes are wide open now, mouth open a fraction of an inch as small puffs of air shiver from him. It's nothing like when she was strapped to the interrogation table, her use of the Force ravenous and like she was taking chunks from his very being with claws.

 _Have you been training, scavenger?_ His tongue darts out to wet his suddenly dry lips; a spark of fear that isn't his own twists uncomfortably around his gut, and she pulls back slightly.

Kylo Ren releases a soft sigh, a corner of his mind perking with a _thought_. He reaches through the Force and creates the illusion of his fingers sliding through the slots of hers. A brief surge of _anger_ and _confusion_ causes his heart to pound a little faster in his chest.

The connection is severed before he can do anything further.

()()

"And what will you do with this new found connection, young Ren?" The Supreme Leader stares down at him, the corner of his mouth curled slightly.

Kylo Ren doesn't know if this expression is one of amusement or one of anger; he tilts his head down, allowing his posture to be submissive in the face of his master. He's grateful for the mask that hides his annoyed expression. "

"The girl is quite formidable with the Force," he knows that he's told the Supreme Leader this before, "She would be useful to us if she were on our side."

His master's fingers unfurl from their loosely closed fists; Kylo Ren stares resolutely at his shoes when he hears Snoke lift his significant frame from his throne.

"...the girl has the same fire as your mother." He purses his lips behind the mask; the Supreme Leader reaches into his mind with invasive prods, a hum of dark amusement leaving his mouth when Kylo Ren hisses with pain. "How will you _destroy_ it?"

The invasion leaves as soon as it had begun, leaving Kylo Ren gasping for breath.

()()

He doesn't regret killing the man he use to call 'father'; the question of if he did comes from the girl one evening as he is drifting to sleep. Her confusion ripples over him, causing goosebumps to pepper his skin.

For a second, Kylo Ren considers telling the scavenger _The truth_ , that Han Solo abandoned him as surely as she had been abandoned on Jakku.

Instead, he allows images of when he was younger and it had been a much simpler (a happier) time. He remembers, with a small furrow of...something (sadness and longing are emotions that he has no use for), his mother and father swinging a three year old Ben Solo between them.

The slap of fury from the girl is sudden and hot; it leaves him writhing with phantom pain as it burns a line of rage through his heart. _How could you?_ Her cry wraps around his mind; she is outraged at how he could have given up such a thing.

Her presence leaves him as quickly as the wind. He lies on his bed, gasping for air before a soft wheezing laugh claws its way out of his throat. He wonders if she would feel as devoted to Han Solo and the farce of _family_ if she knew.

()()

He is ten years old and has managed to stow away int cargo hold of the Millennium Falcon. His father had left the day before after another screaming match with his mother; there had been things broken, and his mother had cried for hours while Ben Solo watched from the shadows. 

His father had left, only allowing enough time for him to sneak aboard, like he had so many times before. Ben was sure that his father had known about his previous adventures, as he would only be gone for a day at a time and they would never be as dangerous as the ones when Ben hadn't managed to come with.

He's fairly certain his father has no idea that he's aboard now, and as he sneaks quietly through the cargo hold, he can hear him complaining to Chewbacca. "With her own brother, can you even fucking believe that?"

He turns, eyes catching on a small cryogenics tank. Creeping closer, Ben releases a small breath of air when his eyes fall upon a small girl; she's barely a year old, and has been put under for a long trip, no doubt to keep her silent the entire voyage.

Ben lifts his hand, his finger tips pressing against the oddly cool glass separating them. Absently, he wonders if she's the result of his mother and uncle's late night meetings whenever his father had been gone for months at a time.

As he stares at the sleeping girl, he notes the shape of her mouth and the slope of her nose; her appearance certainly is more like his--their--mother's. He is an oddly perceptive child, and from his own voyages off his home planet, he has seen how men, women, and those with out any description copulate. The same noises came from his parent's bedroom when his mother and uncle thought he was asleep.

As he stares down at the sleeping girl, Ben feels a surge of possessiveness well under his heart. "Ben? What are you doing here?" He jumps at his father's sharp voice, knocking into a few stacked crates and causing items to spill out. He sees something shiny tumble from a crate and makes a note to grab it later.

His father stares at him, his eyes bloodshot and face scruffy. Chewbacca is behind his father, the Wookie giving Ben a disappointed look. He tries for smiling sweetly, which causes his father to frown. "You said that you'd take me on one of your voyages soon, a _real_ one."


	2. What Suits Our Weakened Pride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> **The animal death tag plays a part here; it's brief, but still there.**

The next time he sees the girl is at the end of her light saber.

She and her lot have infiltrated the construction of the new Starkiller base, easily navagating the twisting halls as if they had already been there (and he realizes that _she_ has through him). 

His rage digs into her as she offers him a cool smirk. His new saber burns to life, casting deep shadows over her face; when he swings, she dodges as fluidly as water and parries just as easily. Her training is evident, and she allows him to briefly see her time with his uncle.

He grits his teeth, seething behind his mask and he knows she can feel it. Their sabers connect and spark; he lifts a hand and soon she is flung to the wall with a loud crack. Her saber dies and clatters away from her hand, though he knows she'll soon be able to grasp it with the Force. He stomps down to prevent that from happening, her hand crunching beneath his boot.

Her cry is horse, and he watches impassively as she tries to shoot out her pain into him; he purses his lips against the onslaught, swallowing thickly when she writhes beneath his foot.

Her face is scrunched in pain, but Kylo Ren notes only how delicate her bone structure is; it reminds him of when he was a child and had been sent to train under his uncle. He had found a young bird whom had fallen from the nest; the bones had been easy to break, and when the other children had seen the blood on his hands they had avoided him even more resolutely.

That is what the girl reminds him of: a captured bird with sharp talons and breakable bones.

"Rey..." He says her name like a prayer, the excitement surging through his veins similar to the excitement he had felt when taking apart the bird.

This causes her eyes to snap open, her other hand sweeping into a large arc. The Force bends to her will and propels him away as if he is weightless; the air leaves him in a whoosh, and when he lands, he watches her leave with only the barest hint of hesitation.

()()

The children of his uncle's attempt at renewing the Jedi order had always regarded him coolly. They knew who he was, what his _legacy_ was. They whispered behind his back, afraid of the possibility of him turning to the dark side; but he is sure--looking at it now--they were just afraid of their own weakness.

His uncle had taken him aside one day (Kylo Ren remembered how much Ben Solo _hated_ the _special treatment_ , and how much he _despised_ Master Luke for destroying his family). His uncle had told him of his grandfather, not Darth Vader as many knew him, but Anakin Skywalker. _"He was a good man, but power can corrupt even those with the strongest hearts."_.

The children had been tasked with finding the crystals for their light sabers when he first took the life of someone he knew. The girl was much younger than he was, possibly five; she had been leaning over the edge of a cliff, her tiny hands sifting through pebbles. He remembered that she had been humming a nonsensical tune while she worked.

The girl had been far too easy to kill, and when they found her tiny body dashed upon the rocks below, he had acted the part of another grieving student.

The call to the dark side had begun as whispers that had crescendoed in his head upon the completion of his light saber; they sighed in relief when he drove the blade into his classmates' chests.

As he had stood among the rubble of the hastily built temple, he had looked through the fire and saw his uncle. The man stared at him, his eyes wide and disbelieving; Kylo Ren had smiled and held his arms out wide for the last Jedi to see. _"This is the destruction you brought upon yourself."_

()()

He is asleep when the darkness around him begins to shift and take form. He is aware that he isn't in his own body, nor is he in his bed; staring up at the night sky, he can hear the ocean crashing against the rocks and feel the hard ground beneath his back. He feels the scavenger--Rey's--presence in the back of his mind; she is aware that he is there and seeing through her eyes, though she remains silent.

"You have been practicing, haven't you?" He breathes, but it isn't his voice that tumbles from his--her--lips. Her consciousness grates against his almost in a warning. _This is a test._ he realizes, but he can't tell if he is thinking it or she is.

He sits up in order to observe his surroundings; it is a desolate place surrounded by nothing but an endless ocean. There are dying embers in a fire pit that looks as if it has been used many times. He doesn't see any life other than the girl being there, and the relief comes as more of an annoyance than anything.

"This is where you've been hiding." He observes, then digs her fingers through the loosely packed dirt. "Does your _master_ know you're doing this?" Her reaction is amusing; if she had been in physical form she would have sharply inhaled at the question. He lets her mouth stretch in a grin that is sharper than intended. "We're alone, aren't we... _Rey_?"

He's surprised that she doesn't instantly shove him out of her mind which indicates that she must be much lonelier than he first gathered. The feeling is familiar enough that it leaves a bad taste in his mouth; he grimaces and projects memories of his time with his uncle's students. "I'm sorry," Though in reality he isn't,"I know...I know what lonlieness is."

Rey is silent for a few minutes, processing the things he had shown her. He had been lonely during his training, though once he had become Kylo Ren, he had been instructed to stamp those sorts of feelings out.

He wonders how long it will be that she will sympathize with him, and see the reason why the dark side chose him. It is their legacy after all.

()()

She pulls him into her mind with more frequency the longer his uncle is gone from the ocean planet. Her irritation at her master warms him, and allows for him to slowly bend her mind. ( _Your father abandons you when you need him most_ is what he wants to say, but he holds his tongue and bides his time until it is right). Instead he shares with her altered memories that seemingly draw them closer, binding their shared pains like the bo d of the Force.

He is tugged into her mind with a lack of finesse that is a little startling. He suddenly is very warm, the space between his--her--legs pooling with heat. He lets out a gasp of surprise and feels her own surprise settle upon him like a blanket; the tension is heavy on both of their parts--she is waiting to see what he will do, while he waits for her to push him away.

Her arousal surges through him, causing a nearly silent groan to tumble from his-her-their mouth. The tension is broken by him moving her hand back to its position between her legs, calloused fingers tentively caressing the delicate skin. "Were you thinking of me," he asks on the end of a choked groan, "Is that why I'm here?"

There is a burst of embarrassed anger behind their closed lids, and Kylo Ren shudders when her hand moves a little harder with the action. Another moan leaves him while her hand moves up to cup her small breast; he drags his nails over the sensitive flesh, her nipple standing on end while stars dance behind their eyes.

He's not sure who is controlling what, and when her body finally reaches its peak, he's sure both of their voices ring out through the night sky.

When he's pushed away, he can feel her confusion and shame. He wonders, as he opens his own eyes and feels the mess he's made of his bed, if she will feel any differently once she finds out the truth.


	3. With The Kinks And Wires Like Me

Her rage is like a hot band tightening across his heart, causing him to cry out in pain and collapse. 

Phasma's storm troopers don't know what to do, and instead crowd around him while his body spasms with Rey's anger. 

Finally someone has the intelligence to grab a medic, and he finds himself being held down on a bed that is far too hard with lights that are far too bright. "I-I need..." He nearly chokes on his tongue, clawing for air while she wails in his head. 

He needs to _focus_ in order to shut the connection down, but Rey's link to the Force is much stronger than his. As the medic puts him under with a cocktail of chemicals, Kylo Ren attempts to reach through the bond to ask the girl _why_. 

()()

He wakes hours later. His mouth is tacky and he can _feel_ the stares from his subordinates. There is a fuzzy feeling in the cloud of his mind, and it's almost as if...

Kylo Ren sits up with a jolt: the connection has been severed. 

He releases a loud shout of anger, his hand twitching with the need to crush something. Her presence had grown...comforting, loath he is to admit it. 

Standing on unsteady legs, he stalks away from the medical bay (ignoring their shouts for him to wait). He scowls deeply, knowing that he is without mask; the stares cause his skin to itch, but he shoves the feeling down and instead attempts to _focus_. 

In the deepest corner of his mind, he can feel the girl. It is faint, but the attempt to bury their bond was hasty. His scowl grows, and his fists tighten. 

_Are you there, scavenger?_

He can nearly see her, curled into a tight ball and hidden from prying eyes. He enters his room, sighing softly at the quiet. 

The girl doesn't make any indication that he has reached her. 

_What happened?_ He tries for compassion, knowing that a soothing tone brings out even the most frightened of animals. 

She uncurls slowly in his mind's eye and turns; her face is red and her eyes wild. There is blood on her hands, and she looks _so lost_. 

_He told me._

Her answer is almost inaudible, but he can see her mouth moving and her posture loosening as his consciousness slides against hers. 

_You knew...he told me you knew. That's why you--_ He sees her look down at her bloody palms, her mouth thinning; her hands curl into fists. _I killed him._

Kylo Ren is silent for a few moments, considering. Rey's expression hardens, and he finds himself swallowing down a soft gasp of excitement. He finds himself wanting to throw himself at her feet, to be her servant; he sees himself as the blade in which she will wield to control galaxies. 

_You've killed your only teacher..._ He reaches through the Force and lets his fingers lock with the idea of hers. _Let me be your teacher, Rey._

He sees her stare down at their hands; her struggle swirls around them in a cloud of confusion before she looks up at him with dark eyes. 

_I will._

Kylo Ren allows a smile to spread across his lips. 

**End part one**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments on this story! There will be a companion piece to this told from Rey's perspective.

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be a oneshot, but whoops. Creepy stuff will be happening; updates may be slow in coming.


End file.
